Depressed
Monday December 13, 2010
I can't remember the last time I was actually depressed over something relatively serious and non-trivial, but I guess life has its ups and downs and this in particular is a downer.
I got an email from Beth this morning. It was a lengthy but cleverly written poem about indecisiveness. As I sit here pondering about my housing options for next year, I can't help but think about the what-ifs. If I sign this tenancy agreement, I might miss out on a nicer place for a cheaper price. If I don't sign it, then I might have to settle for a dump at a high price (a bit like what happened with my current place). There's a lot of properties out there - some are damn expensive - but all the ones I've seen have been inadequate or were taken by someone else.
Charlotte and I looked at a place today in Mt. Vic, and she seems really keen on it. The practical side of me likes the place and I can see myself living there. But something doesn't quite appeal emotionally. Something isn't quite right. I pride myself on being logical and rational, but there is something I do not like about the place and I cannot for the life of me figure out why. Is my gut instinct telling me there's something wrong?
Usually when I become stressed or depressed, I can just sleep over it and wake up feeling fine. Maybe that's all I need, just some time to relax and chill out, sleep and process the day's events, then come back with an answer tomorrow.
Posted by Jeremy at 9:17am on Monday December 13, 2010 :: 4 comments :: 
Comments
Well, this morning I woke up and thought about it, and I came to the conclusion that if I'm worrying about it this much, it probably isn't a good decision to make. So... I said no to the place and now I'm back flat hunting. Sigh.
Excessive worrying is probably a bad sign. Something will jump out at you eventually. Hopefully a place that doesn't require jumping out the window to leave. Ideally, I think I'd try to find a loft when I graduate in May. Seems like something I could work with. I've been spoiled rotten having this single apartment this semester. All my own space, and if I want company, it's a phonecall away. The real world is going to suck.
I am all for trusting your instincts. Sometimes the conscious mind takes a little longer than the subconscious to understand something of supreme importance. :)
I hear you on the indecisiveness. I can't make a decision to save my life, mostly because I always try to see every possible outcome of the decision, and can't bring myself to force my life to take on one of them and shun all the others. Though, if multiverse theory holds, I still experience it all, just not in this same consciousness, so I guess that's not too bad...